Will You be My Friend: Growing Friends in the Church (EP)


Will You Be My Friend Excerpt

I have an aunt who is just about five-feet tall. She is spunky, strong, and a veteran. In high school I decided that I wanted to join the Air Force, so we had several long talks about the Air Force. I eventually went a different path, but I still remember the stories she told me. One of those stories was about her time at boot camp.

Boot camp was especially hard for her physically, because she wasn’t a very fast runner. At her height, she sometimes has to take two steps to equal one of everyone else’s. The day of her final running test, her instructor told the group that if she couldn’t make it over the finish line in a certain time, everyone in her unit would fail. My aunt had prepared for that test, she worked hard and was very strong. But, when it was time to run she still couldn’t run as fast as everyone else.

As she approached the finish line, it became apparent to her friends that she was not going to make it fast enough. Even though she knew she was too slow, she put on another burst of speed and kept running. She didn’t give up she just kept going. As she ran harder her friends grabbed her belt loops, half carrying her they ran the distance. As a team, they made it across the finish line just under the required time.

While no one can run our Christian race for us (Hebrews 12:1), running that race is much easier if we have built good relationships with those around us. Our Christian friends can help us during times of trial and weakness. They can help lift us up when we are discouraged and celebrate with us when we are happy.

God knew from the beginning that we needed companionship. Genesis 2:18 records, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” While God is specifically speaking of a man and woman’s relationship in this verse, it is apparent that there is a need for us to have friends and companions in our lives.

II Kings 4:8-37 describes an incident where a Shunammite woman and her husband built a relationship with a prophet of God. Notice II Kings 4:8-17:

And it fell on a day, that Elisha passed to Shunem, where was a great woman; and she constrained him to eat bread. And so it was, that as oft as he passed by, he turned in thither to eat bread. And she said unto her husband, Behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually. Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall; and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be, when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither. And it fell on a day, that he came thither, and he turned into the chamber and lay there. And he said to Gehazi, his servant, Call this Shunammite. And when he had called her, she stood before him. And he said unto him, Say now unto her, Behold, thou hast been careful for us with all this care; what is to be done for thee? wouldest thou be spoken for to the king, or to the captain of the host? And she answered I dwell among mine own people. And he said, What then is to be done for her? And Gehazi answered, Verily she hath no child, and her husband is old. And he said, Call her. And when he had called her, she stood in the door. And he said, About this season, according to the time of life, thou shalt embrace a son. And she said, Nay, my lord, thou man of God, do not lie unto thine handmaid. And the woman conceived, and bare a son at that season that Elisha had said unto her, according to the time of life.

In this passage, we see a portrait of a woman who felt concern for Elisha, and she went out of her way to make sure his needs were met. We often think of meeting someone’s needs as going above and beyond friendship, but in all reality meeting, a person’s needs should be the foundation of all of our friendships.

Christ discusses the importance of meeting a person’s needs in Matthew 25:31-46. In this passage, Christ is painting a scene of the judgement day. And, in that day he holds us up to some standards; a certain pattern of behavior if you will.  As we look at the passage, ask yourself would you be able to say you lived up to the pattern Christ gave as an example, or would you be in the majority asking Christ the following questions, too?

Consider Christ’s words as recorded in Matthew 25:31-46:

When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:  And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.  Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.  Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?  Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:  For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:  I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.  Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.  And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

While we will cover the topic of addressing people’s needs later in more detail, please note that just as the Shunammite woman took care of Elisha’s needs, we should be filling people’s needs as well, and as true friends, we will be.

I Samuel 18 is one of my favorite Bible passage that covers the topic of friendship. I Samuel 18: 1 reads, “and it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” This is the very definition of friendship. We are to love our friends as though they are our souls.

Hopefully, we can all say that at least one time in our lives we’ve had this kind of friendship. I met my childhood best friend when I was in sixth grade. My father was preaching in Florence, Texas at a very small congregation.

As all true friendship stories go, it took some time for us to become friends. In fact, we refused to get to know each other at all until our Bible class teacher intervened. Remember Bible class teachers that you have no idea what impact you are having on the kids in your classes.   You are not only teaching them important Bible concepts; you are teaching them how to live what you are teaching. One Sunday morning Mrs. V invited both of us to her house for lunch. That afternoon we bonded over a game of “he loves me; he loves me not” played with daddy long legs.

If it hadn’t been for our Bible class teacher stepping up and making us get together, my best friend and I never would have become friends. We would have continued sitting in our Bible class and staring at each other, both assuming that the other one was stuck up, snobby and just two different from the other one to be friends.

But, because of Mrs. V, Texas Hill Country residents always saw us together. My best friend, a girl with impeccable clothes, stockings and matching shoes, and me, a girl who always wore cut-off jean shorts, a Texas A&M T-shirt, and cowboy boots. The two of us were quite a pair and unlikely friends, but even though our exteriors portrayed two different images, we were one soul knit together just like David and Jonathan. Not only did we have a special friendship, but we had a special bond because we were sisters in Christ.

In 1994, I met my forever best friend. He was a young preaching student at the Memphis School of Preaching who had moved to Memphis from South Texas. While I will admit we had a rocky start – mostly due to my stubbornness – in a few short months we were best friends and married. He has been my best friend for more than twenty years now, and believe it or not we spend all day together every day, and we still like each other!

Most of us have similar stories of meeting our best friends or spouses, but there are some of us who have forgotten why growing relationships or making friends is important in the first place. Perhaps cultivating relationships or making friends has not been one of your priorities.  I know there have been times that I have not made cultivating relationships a real priority in my life, and because of that, I have been lonely. Life without friends is lonely. Sisters, we don’t have to be lonely.

There was a time in my life that building relationships were second nature. I had a close circle of friends, and when I think about friendship, I think about these women. We had a standing date for coffee once a week, and several times a week we spent time at each other’s houses. If one of us were going shopping, you could bet at least two of the three of us were together, and whoever wasn’t in tow had at least been given an invitation to go.

I know that at that time in my life friendship was a priority, and to this day I miss those days. It is my hope that we all have friends like that. Friends that we can count on in our time of need, but more importantly I hope we are the friend who others need and can remember with a smile.  Let me encourage you to reach out to friends, search them out, talk to people about yourself, what you like, and most importantly about God (Romans 15:2).




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